Thinc Spot...

There’s no “I” in Drunk…

This blog post was written on May 6, 2012…

I’ve been drinking for some three decades now and outside of that first one I’m pretty darn good at not drinking to excess.  There are a few notable exceptions (my 40^th birthday … Mexico with Tim … that one poker night at Todd’s when Justin killed that hooker on accident) but for the most part I really don’t drink too much. I don’t like how I feel or how I act when I drink a lot and I’m pretty sure those of you that have interacted with me when I was excessively drunk would agree.

I had one of those moments yesterday where I just simply decided to drink a lot of alcohol. Sure it was a ‘drinking holiday’ and we all get caught up in those but for some stupid reason I decided to mix shots of tequila and whiskey in with a significant number of beers. Oh and has anyone noticed how hard it is to eat a decent meal when you are drinking like a Czechoslovakian gypsy? So … no real food … drinking holiday … and no self discipline added up to what I can only describe as a difficult moment when my eyes met the day this morning.

As always … Thinc Spot is here to share and for you to learn. My abhorrent behavior is your opportunity to learn. In this case it’s the top ten signs that you have had too much to drink last night:

1.       You have a napkin with Lauren Tree’s phone number on it … at first your stoked and then you realize she gave you Doug King’s number instead.

2.       A magic cat has made its way into to your room and seemingly taken a dump in your mouth.

3.       Your Facebook status is : po ure qodwjf;ozn

4.       You call and text everyone that you remember being with last night and none of them call or text you back … ever.

5.       You move to put your arm around your girlfriend only to find that Doug King is asleep next to you … he’s laying on his stomach and he’s wearing a yellow sun dress.

6.       There’s a Jumbo Jack, 1 ½ Jack tacos and melted Oreo cookie shake in your car.

7.       There’s a text message from your girlfriend that you had in 6^th grade asking that you never contact her again or she will call the police.

8.       You have a new tattoo that reads “Be Ordinary” on your forearm…

9.       There’s an army jacket and boom box in the back seat of your car.

10.   You’re so hung over that it takes you three weeks to post a blog about it.

Look … chances are if you are reading this you are someone I care about. Excessive drinking isn’t cool and really shouldn’t be something that happens very often. Bad things can happen to you when you drink too much … best advice is not drink too much too often and when you do … don’t call Doug. Nothing good happens when Doug shows up at your house in a sun dress.

What’s Your Problem?

I made a list of my problems this morning. I was careful to keep them as “my” problems so as to make a more accurate depiction of just what’s wrong in my life. I tried to keep trivial things off the list and concentrate on just those important issues that qualify as real problems. For example … the letter from my ex wife’s new attorney made the list … the right turn signal light being burned out in my SUV did not.  

Shared problems didn’t make the list either. If it’s a “we” problem then that’s going to reside on another list. So essentially I ended up with a moderately lengthy list of problems that were somewhat significant and pertinent only to me.

Simple enough …

After two or three false endings … (yeah, that’s it … oh wait, that’s right…shit … add another line). I ended up re-writing a couple … deleting one … essentially editing my problem list while I revisited it in what proved to be an uncomfortably formal way.

Candidly … I have a lot of problems … at least more than I thought.

I started to get upset.  I mean really … how do I have so many problems? What’s my deal? Where did I go wrong?

Then I juxtaposed myself to be someone else … in this case I picked oh I don’t know … 98% of the rest of the living world. The ones with without an amazing family, great friends,  a beautiful girlfriend, a job that I love, a cool house with a pool, two awesome lab puppies, a Lexus, a boat, a quad, and a washer/dryer that actually talks to me.

I think you get the point.

I’m way more fortunate than I look on paper. It looks like my problems outnumber my blessings … but really just one of my blessings totally eclipses every single problem I have. Bet it’s the same for you. Next time you think things suck … look and appreciate what doesn’t.